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Abuse and getting help

If you or some you know is experiencing abuse or has in the past there is help available.

You're not alone.

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Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse and coercive control is a persistent and deliberate pattern of behaviour by an abuser over a prolonged period of time designed to achieve obedience and create fear.

It may include coercion, threats, stalking, intimidation, isolation, degradation and control. It may also include physical and/or sexual violence.

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Domestic abuse and coercive control are all about making a persons world smaller – trapping them, restricting them independence and freedom.

A controlling partner may shut out their friends and family, control their movements, micro-manage what she eats or wears, restrict their access to money – all the time chipping away at their confidence and destroying their self-respect.

It is not their imagination.

It is not their fault. It is not acceptable.

Getting help

If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you may be feeling confused, uncertain, frightened, and torn. Maybe you’re still hoping that your situation will change or you’re afraid of how your partner will react if he discovers that you’re trying to leave. One moment, you may desperately want to get away, and the next, you may want to hang on to the relationship. Maybe you even blame yourself for the abuse or feel weak and embarrassed because you’ve stuck around in spite of it. Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame. The only thing that matters is your safety.

If you are being abused, remember:

  • You are not to blame for being battered or mistreated.

  • You are not the cause of your partner’s abusive behavior.

  • You deserve to be treated with respect.

  • You deserve a safe and happy life.

  • Your children deserve a safe and happy life.

  • You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.

There are supports available to help keep you safe. Your GP can help by referring you to appropriate supports and services in your local area.

If you are in immediate danger, contact the Gardaí or call 999. You can also contact the Women’s Aid national helpline on 1800 341 900.

Your local Citizens Information Centre can give you advice on your rights. They will also tell you about the supports and services available in your local area.

Sexual assault or rape

If you need to talk to someone in confidence about sexual assault or rape, the Rape Crisis Centre (1800 77 88 88) can help.

Domestic violence

Women’s Aid can help you if you are experiencing domestic violence. They give advice on how you can help yourself and others. You can also contact them 24 hours-a-day on 1800 341 900.

Men's Aid Ireland is a service for men who are experiencing domestic violence. You can call them on 01 554 3811or email hello@mensaid.ie.

Child Abuse

Child abuse can be categorised into four different types: neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. A child may be subjected to one or more forms of abuse at any given time. Abuse and neglect can occur within the family, in the community or in an institutional setting.  The abuser may be someone known to the child or a stranger, and can be an adult, or another child.  In a situation where abuse is alleged to have been carried out by another child, you should consider it a child welfare and protection issue for both children and you should follow child protection procedures for both the victim and the alleged abuser.   The important factor in deciding whether the behaviour is abuse or neglect is the impact of that behaviour on the child rather than the intention of the parent/carer.

Signs of Child Abuse

Child abuse can be categorised into four different types: neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. A child may be subjected to one or more forms of abuse at any given time. Abuse and neglect can occur within the family, in the community or in an institutional setting.  The abuser may be someone known to the child or a stranger, and can be an adult, or another child.  In a situation where abuse is alleged to have been carried out by another child, you should consider it a child welfare and protection issue for both children and you should follow child protection procedures for both the victim and the alleged abuser.   The important factor in deciding whether the behaviour is abuse or neglect is the impact of that behaviour on the child rather than the intention of the parent/carer.

Obtener ayuda para el abuso infantil

Niños y jóvenes

Childline  es un servicio de apoyo confidencial para niños y jóvenes. Reciben llamadas sobre una amplia gama de dificultades, incluido el abuso.

Puede comunicarse con ellos las 24 horas del día en  1800 66 66 66 . También puede enviar un mensaje de texto con la palabra 'Hablar' a  50101 .

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También puede comunicarse con tusla  https://www.tusla.ie/services/child-protection-welfare/definitions-of-child-abuse/

Harassment

It can take many forms such as:

  • rude gestures

  • touching

  • following or watching

  • damage to property and/or vehicles

  • name calling and/or taunting

  • phone calls and voicemails

  • notes and/or letters

  • emails and/or text messages

  • rubbish being thrown on your property

  • loud noise or music from neighbours

  • Tweets, Facebook comments, YouTube videos; and other online posts

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If you are a victim of harassment you may feel:

  • That nobody is taking it seriously, and that something terrible will have to happen before you are really believed

  • That you have no option but to move out of your neighbourhood or leave your workplace

  • Afraid to answer your phone or look at your text messages

  • Afraid to go away from your home in case damage is done while you are away

  • Anxious any time you leave your home

  • Worried about the effects on your children

  • Afraid that if you report each incident the Police will think you are a nuisance or will not believe you

  • Concerned that if you report the harassment, the situation may get worse.

Harassment is an unwanted pattern of behaviour that can leave you feeling intimidated, scared , molesto y/o humillado.

  • Mantenga un registro escrito de cada incidente. Anote la hora y el lugar del incidente, con el mayor detalle posible, y anote cualquier persona que haya visto lo sucedido y que pueda ser testigo en cualquier procedimientos criminales.

  • Denuncie el delito a la Gardaí. El acoso es un delito. Es importante que lo denuncies y que hagas una declaración a la Gardaí sobre lo que está pasando. Cada incidente debe ser informado a la Gardaí. Si un incidente es grave, se debe informar inmediatamente a Gardaí.

  • Considere la posibilidad de mediación. Especialmente si se trata de acoso en su vecindario, este enfoque de no confrontación puede brindarle el mejor resultado. La mediación es un servicio confidencial que ofrece un método alternativo para que las partes involucradas en una disputa resuelvan sus problemas y lleguen a un acuerdo que sea aceptable para ambas partes.

  • Sin embargo, la mediación no siempre es posible or advisable en algunas situaciones. Si cree que la mediación podría ser una opción para su situación, comuníquese con la Línea de ayuda para víctimas de delitos para obtener más información.

  • Guarde todos los mensajes de texto, mensajes de voz, correos electrónicos o capturas de pantalla de los comentarios de las redes sociales, ya que serán útiles en cualquier investigación que pueda llevarse a cabo.

  • Comuníquese con su proveedor de servicios telefónicos para recibir asesoramiento si el acoso es por teléfono. Cada proveedor tiene una política para tratar el problema.  Es posible bloquear las comunicaciones entrantes no deseadas.

  • Si el acoso es via social media, puede informarlo a la organización de redes sociales correspondiente. Es posible bloquear a una persona para que no se comunique con usted en la mayoría de los sitios de redes sociales.

  • Considere instalar un dispositivo de cámara en su propiedad para proporcionar evidencia de acoso y como elemento disuasorio. Las cámaras de bajo costo ya están disponibles.

  • Evita involucrarte en una disputa. No grites ni tomes represalias.

  • Si lo hace, es menos probable que prospere un caso contra la persona que lo está acosando.

  • Si el acoso está ocurriendo en un área de vivienda de una autoridad pública, asegúrese de informarlo al condado o al consejo de la ciudad.

  • Si el acoso tiene lugar in your workplace , debe informarlo a su empleador.

  • Habla de tus sentimientos con alguien en quien puedas confiar – un familiar, un amigo, un colega. Pasar por esta experiencia es muy difícil y es importante tener support.

  • Infórmese sobre las medidas de seguridad que se pueden tomar para prevenir el acoso. Puede pedir consejo a a Garda Crime Prevention Officer. Su estación local de Garda puede proporcionarle los datos de contacto.

Para obtener más información sobre lo que puede hacer, o si desea hablar sobre su experiencia como víctima de acoso, puede comunicarse con la Línea de ayuda para víctimas de delitos de forma gratuita al 116 006.

Qué puedes hacer si te acosan 

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